Wasabi Sweet Chilly Chicken Yakisoba

The review

If you thought the sweet chilli chicken with rice was bad, brace yourself. This yakisoba version takes all the worst parts of that meal and somehow makes them even more offensive.

Let's start with the "yakisoba," and I'm using that term very loosely. What you get is a bloody joke. It's a sad clump of generic, pre-cooked wheat noodles. The name itself is a lie. "Yaki" means fried, but these noodles are just microwaved mush. And they aren't even soba (buckwheat) noodles, which is a common mix-up, but these cheap wheat noodles have none of the springy texture you'd expect from a proper yakisoba dish.

The chicken and sauce are the exact same rubbish they use in the other meal. It's the same soggy chicken drowned in that sickeningly sweet and salty sauce with no spice. And when you look at the numbers, it's actually worse. Despite being a smaller portion, this thing has even more sugar (36.3!) and salt (3.83g) than the rice version. It's genuinely disgusting how unhealthy it is.

Oh, and for some reason, they threw in some random peas. Because when I think of authentic Japanese yakisoba, I definitely think of sad little peas.

Do not buy this. It's an expensive, unhealthy, and texturally vile meal that misrepresents the dish it's named after. The sauce is repulsive and the "yakisoba" is a lie.