Nadella's $96.5M Paycheck: A Reward for Layoffs, Price Hikes, and War Contracts

So, Satya Nadella is getting a near-record $96.5 million compensation package in the same year Microsoft has pulled all its recent shit. Let's quickly go through the highlight reel, shall we?

First, the big subscription price hikes. At the start of the year, they jacked up Microsoft 365 prices by as much as 42% for personal users, followed by the recent Game Pass increase. The plan was always clear: lock customers into the ecosystem, and once they're trapped, shove "AI" or other unwanted "improvements" down their throats and make them pay extra. It's an easy, guaranteed profit scheme.

Then you have the layoffs. Part one came earlier in the year, followed by more fumbling with their generative AI strategy. Then we got the massive 9,000-job layoff, Part two, back in July.

Oh, and how can we forget the company's military dealings? Microsoft deepened its contracts with the Israeli military and then fired its own activist workers when they voiced their concerns. Yes, of course, a totally benign thing for a multi-trillion-dollar company. That military only committed a few war crimes, you know, just a tiny drop of blood in Microsoft's vault of gold-plated government contracts. Nothing to see here.

Looking at all that, I guess it does make sense that Nadella is getting that massive paycheck. The company is, in fact, making increased profits in its biggest cash-cow divisions after raising prices, on top of Azure's growth. And as long as they can slap the "AI" label on something, their stock rises because of the bubble. If we ignore the human and ethical cost, the numbers don't lie.

In his memo, Nadella said the decision to fire thousands was "weighing heavily" on him. His $96.5 million package is worth nearly 735 kilograms in solid gold at current prices. I'm guessing that's the only weight he's actually struggling with. That, and the profound mental burden of deciding whether to buy his cricket team a new stadium, or just buy the entire league to streamline operations.